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Michael Davenport

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Bring it, What? [Jul. 4th, 2005|01:41 am]
Michael Davenport
Need to calm down, need a release,
Need take a smoke, get slick like grease,
Get rid of all beneath, feel some real relief,
Caught up in the nowadays with no ways back into the haze,
The future plays with the past on hold,
Gotta get a grip seein how im startin to get old,
Too caught up to be cold,
This shits gotta be raised, ain't no time to fold,
If I reach that bar ima break it, fuck that ima take it,
Set a new standard for myself, lay claim to that product on the shelf,
I don't even know what i'm writin, all I know is I ain't fightin,
Just got this here beat, and a blunt for a treat,
No worries about if ima eat, just staying on my feet,
So here goes a little rhyme, a sample of my time,
Of which is gonna go fast, forget sittin on my ass,
Got a nice little thing here, the only fear near
Is that ima wreck it, so it's time to make my exit

/shrug
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(no subject) [Jun. 3rd, 2005|10:11 pm]
Michael Davenport
Wow, 7 weeks since I've seen you it says...

I'm not sure why I stopped writing, but it was the same time I hit the end of my newfound positive outlook on life. Fuck this all, who am I fooling anymore, there's noone down here that knows me well enough to have a clue or I would even want to ask me how I'm doing....fuck that, who the hell do I ever open up to...regardless of if I've known them for 5 minutes or 5 years.

I remember a different time...
A life before the crime...
The ignorance of youth...
When I was blind to the truth...
Flashes of something called family...
Before calamatiy or this constant insanity...
All the people of my past...
I have seem to forgotten so fast...
I'm stuck here alone...
The king of my frozen throne...
I have no crown...
I have no people...
Just myself and this internal evil...
I've never been so sad...
I'd end it all but for my dad...
I'm all he's got...
I couldn't let him live while I rot...
I never knew I couldn't go back...
To find in the part of myself I lack...
How could you go and do that...
Put knife in his back...
I wonder when it will hit you...
He has noone to go home to...
Just an empty house...
To cold and sad for a mouse...
Hoping and praying for something more...
Still there's no knock at the door...
Your as guilty as a murderer...
You took my life from that day further...
Why is it wrong to hate you...
I hate myself because I hate you...
There was once a day when I felt alive...
Now all I do is strive...
All for what when I don't even feel...
That anything will ever be real...
Anything will ever be right...
This is just the end of another night...
I come here all the time...
Just writing another rhyme...
About the soul I lost...
The effect and the cost...
Are more than I want to bare...
So many things I wish I could share...
But who would care...

Fuck it all, where did life go...I remember everyday back in 9th grade saying I would do this and that, and I never did...if only I had, maybe some people would still matter, I could have trusted them, I could have learned to confide, to love, to cherish.

There was a time when being in the park was the most amazing thing ever, the sights, the smells, the place, the feeling, the family and friends, the closeness, never questioning life, never having a worry, always smiling...I wonder when I quit smiling.

Im so far gone from everyone else, and I think I always will be, I see you fuckers doing normal things and yeah, I resent that...maybe because if things had gone different I'd have never touched a drug and been more apt to share a hug.

Physical contact...what the hell is that, who wants to hug a statue so cold it saps the life out of you.

Noone will ever know me...she's gone now...

We'll I can dream...


But I don't anymore......
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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2005|09:29 am]
Michael Davenport
My distance is my security
But its refuge is cold and numb
I pull it around myself
And walk through those deemed normal
It dulls my words
Restricts my actions
You think you know me
You know what you can see
A master of manipulation
A victim of my own degredation
Next time you catch my eyes
Look deeper and find a suprise
There is nothing there
Just a blank stare
My words tend to get drowned out
By what someone else is talking about
I'm not looking for attention
This is long past prevention
I'm just really far away
So I wrote this to say
Every move I make
Is absolutely fake
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(no subject) [Apr. 12th, 2005|02:41 pm]
Michael Davenport
If only I would say what I want to.
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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2005|12:45 pm]
Michael Davenport
That was an amazing experience, I know it's been a very long time since I last listened to this but it makes sense.

No matter what I do or where I go, I cannot forget my past, it has shaped and molded me to who I am.

I still relate, I still have the love.

If only I had known years ago that the days I payed no attention to, are the days I'd give anything to get back, I would have lived so much different.

I wish I could talk to everyone at once right now, I wish I had thrown concern away and just said what I needed to say to everyone.

Regret.

I miss you.
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Waking thoughts [Apr. 2nd, 2005|09:38 am]
Michael Davenport
[mood |cynicalcynical]

Fuck sleeping, fuck dreaming, fuck waking up another day, fuck my thoughts, fuck my feelings, fuck companionship, fuck friendship, fuck happy, fuck me
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2005|06:48 pm]
Michael Davenport
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]

Well I talked to christina today...

I remember years ago, thinking about how I was going to make it somewhere someday, and come swoop her out of the dead end life she's on.

Nowadays though, I quite enjoy hearing how shitty her life is, she never listened to me, or had any interest in bettering herself.

I guess though, back then, anything I said was hypocritical of what my actions showed. I aspired to alot then but I took action at least...leaving so many behind

How is it that I can hate her as much as I do, but I still feel a strong pull to her, like without thought I would still give up everything for her.

Dammit, I don't know why I even let her back into my head, it's been a solid 9 months since we even talked.
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(no subject) [Mar. 17th, 2005|11:53 pm]
Michael Davenport
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[music |Tupac-Starin' through my rearview]

This one goes out to Matt Townley, if there was ever a more true person out there, I doubt it.

One day I'll see you there brother.
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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2005|04:36 pm]
Michael Davenport
I was just thinking about old faces, remembering some of the not so savory moments in our history.

I still don't know how I got into the situations I got into, but thinking back on some of those places and times. I would have to say NOW I would actually be scared cause I have alot to lose. Back then though, I never thought twice about who I was sitting with or what we were doing.

Oh well, to credit those times, I did learn alot about people, in many areas. I seen how determined some people are in their weakest times, Tim in the face of all adversity has always come out on top, or rather one step ahead, always to fall back short and catch up again, I wish and hope for nothing but the best for him, few people out there share the same perspective on life.

I've witnessed how terrible and disgusting people can be to each other. I remember the time we went to help back up our friend who's sister got raped by their rivals. 34 people there, 4 of us come help, 32 turn on my friend for his brother snitching...thought I was gonna lose my friend that night.

The night brandon got stabbed, the night the cops beat matt down, the night christina fucked my world up, the night kasey fucked my world up, the night I smashed dan, the night I overdosed, the night mike and i got into an accident, the night kevin got arrested, the night I got arrested, the night we almost lost "soandso", the night etc.

What the fuck happened back home...
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(no subject) [Mar. 12th, 2005|12:27 pm]
Michael Davenport
Today would have been a really nice morning to wake up next to someone, not sure why but I haven't cuddled in a long time. Well...january was my last rendezvous with a female friend, but there was no real care associated with that time afterwards.

Was just thinking about all those days back home, waking up with my ex, not really doing anything for hours, just letting the tv be on and staying in bed, good stuff, I love a soft warm body.

Time is flying by anymore, no problem but damn is all I can say.

Going out in an hour to check some wardrobe stuff, hopefully some sort of social thing tonight.
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